29 June 2024
Lauren Beatty
You might have seen this term mentioned a lot, especially on social media. But what is a secure attachment?
In the field of psychology, a secure attachment refers to a child having a safe, trusting and supportive bond with their caregiver, where they can express their feelings, seek comfort and go out to explore knowing they can return to their caregiver when needed.
What are the benefits of having a secure attachment?
Children who have a secure relationship with their caregiver benefit from:
- being able to form and maintain healthy, trusting relationships.
- greater confidence and sense of self-worth.
- clear and effective ways of expressing their needs and feelings.
- an improved ability to handle stress, solve problems and recover from setbacks.
- a healthy balance between seeking help and trusting in their own capacity
- a more optimistic and positive view of life.
So how?
This does not mean you need to be a perfect parent.
Relationships are imperfect and messy. This is part of being human. Our children need to learn that these ruptures are normal in relationships, and that they can be repaired.
We all struggle as parents.
The hard part tends to be the ‘stuff’ that we bring as parents, from our own histories and experiences of being parented.
This can make it hard for us to see what our child really needs at times, and this is where we can get a bit stuck and may find ourselves in patterns of relating to our child that we don’t want to be in.
You can choose security and learn new ways of understanding your child.
It’s important to know that relationships are built moment to moment. You can learn new ways to understand what your child really needs from you and how you can respond. This forms the foundations for a strong and secure relationship with your child.
The Circle of Security Parenting (COSP) program helps you build and strengthen your relationship with your child as they grow.I will be running the next Circle of Security online course soon. This is for parents and regular caregivers of children aged 4 months to six years.
Groups are kept small to allow for greater discussion and reflection together. Partners are welcome and encouraged to attend too.
